soooooo tiredddddddd.
thanks Tiesto and Coffeehouse for keeping me up and running.

living at peace with everyone

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12

A few people who I've shared my struggles with lately have referred this verse to me. As daunting as it seems for me to get along with people who don't like me and I see all the time, I realize there is a lot I can do to keep peace that I haven't been doing, with people who don't like me, people who like me, people who I can depend on to love me as much as it is humanly possible.

Replying to texts and emails on time.
Returning money I've borrowed right away.
Just talking.
Not being timid about my expectations.
Giving a clear yes and no.
Following up on a long delayed hangout.
Showing gratitude at every good opportunity.
Keeping my word in general.

I shouldn't live in constant fear of annoying everyone around me, I shouldn't dwell on the things I can't control, and I shouldn't apologize for being myself. But, if it is possible, as far as it depends on me...
And, as Umma always encourages me to do, do what is right in the eyes of everyone. They might not like you, but they will have a level of respect for you and, more importantly, for the God you serve perhaps as well.

a go-to song

and happy am I to live a hungry life
blessed am I to thirst
disillusionment it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men


I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
Psalm 16:2

worn me down like a road
i do everything you told
worn me down to my knees
i did everything to please


"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Peter

I miss nature.