Yesterday's large group discussion is still doing things in my heart. I guess saying aloud how much I desire to return to my first love makes me long for it all the more. The nearness of Him. The sweetness of His words. The life force of the Spirit.
So many non-Christians seem to get along perfectly fine without God. So many Christians have such struggle and turmoil while keeping the faith. Still, I feel that I have nothing to say but
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?"
Where can I go?

I've tasted and I've seen, and, though it's been so long since I've felt truly satisfied in God (and God has been truly satisfied with me), I want it, I need it, I can't go back to being the same even if I tried.

This is my earnest plea: more love, oh Christ, to Thee. More love to Thee. More love to Thee.

dry bones

today, I'm thankful that someone will tell me straight up, but gently, that I need to learn how to care for people.
I'm also thankful that God's presence always brings life. How badly this world needs Life. How badly, as L so aptly says, I need Him to bring back Life into my dry, dry bones.

" 11 Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' "
Ezekiel 37

daisy

even though you doubt you will ever find the right words, even though you think it will sound cliche or naive or incoherent, even though you're afraid that people, yourself included, will lose interest or misunderstand or have a little less faith in you,
it's worth the struggle to voice what's in your mind and heart. just get it out there. push yourself out of the soil and into the sunlight, make yourself visible, fulfill the God-given purpose for you, uniquely you.

today, I am thankful for friends who care enough to make sure that I get thoroughly listened to after I thoroughly listen to them. I am thankful for friends who believe in me enough to draw out the thoughts and feelings clamoring in the abyss inside this body.

the perks of being a wallflower

"Charlie, don’t you get it? I can’t feel that. It’s sweet and everything, but it’s like you’re not even there sometimes. It’s great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn’t need a shoulder? What if they need the arms or something like that? You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things."

approximately five more hours to finalize and print plans, create entire rough model, cook up four perspective sketches. taking a break for now, stomach and bloodstream are too unhappy to cooperate. this developing caffeine (and peanut m&m) habit and lack of exercise is going to wreak havoc on my body if I don't stop soon.
thanking God for:
the good times with the studio fam
encouragement through facebook chat
encouragement from roommate
the sleep I will get in seven hours or so
david crowder band
my high expectations studio prof
okay skin
peace I can count on

mosaic whispers

better live of course, but this still gives me chills

soooooo tiredddddddd.
thanks Tiesto and Coffeehouse for keeping me up and running.