P. Jon says that the shepherd would anoint the sheep with oil to protect them from insects that would lay eggs in their nostrils, so that larvae would travel up to the brain and cause excruciating pain. But the shepherd cannot anoint them until the sheep stops fidgeting and banging its head against trees to lessen the agony.
How to be anointed has not changed - be still and humble yourself, "you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Spirit, how can I have and talk about so much head knowledge about you and how to seek you, and still know you so little. Help me grasp you and find you. On my own strength, there is no way to start fresh and walk out assured, no way to protect myself against the little things that fester and cumulate and ravage just as much as the lions and bears.
where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom
-----------------------------------
an afterthought -
Everyone who has been born again receives the Spirit. Maybe I am expecting the Spirit to show up in a way that is different from the way He will show up or is showing up right now.
homesick
Sunday, May 30, 2010
second cor ten five
NIV "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
The Message puts the last part this way: "...fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
The Message puts the last part this way: "...fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Slowness, according to TWBTA
An excerpt from the essay "Slowness" on the Tod Williams Billie Tsien Architects website (it's great to have time to browse random firm websites)...
In the United States, the practice of architecture has come to rely on the computer. In offices the word efficiency is always mentioned, and in design schools the capability to create and rotate complex forms in space is lauded. So, with surprising speed, the tools of the hand are becoming extinct.
* clutch pencil, lead and lead pointer
*bunny bag
*pounce
* erasing shield
* lettering template
*soon to disappear
This is a lamentation for lost tools and a quiet manifesto describing our desire for slowness. We write not in opposition to computers- in fact we are in the midst of bringing them into our studio- but rather it is a discussion about the importance of slowness. We write in support of slowness.
“There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting. Consider this utterly commonplace situation: a man is walking down the street. At a certain moment, he tries to recall something, but the recollection escapes him. Automatically, he slows down. Meanwhile, a person who wants to forget a disagreeable incident he has just lived through starts unconsciously to speed up his pace, as if he were trying to distance himself from a thing still too close to him in time.
In existential mathematics, that experience takes the form of two basic equations: the degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting.”
Slowness Milan Kundera
Slowness of method
Our desire to continue to use the tools of the hand, even as we may begin to use the computer, has to do with their connection to our bodies. Buildings are still constructed with hands, and it seems that the hand still knows best what the hand is capable of doing. As our hands move, we have the time to think and to observe our actions. We draw using pencil and ink, on mylar and on vellum. When we make changes, they occur with effort and a fair amount of tedious scrubbing with erasers, erasing shields, and spit. We have to sift back through previous drawings and bring them to agreement. So, decisions are made slowly, after thoughtful investigation, because they are a commitment that has consequence. It is better to be slow.
We like to keep the stack of finished and unfinished drawings nearby so that the whole project can be reviewed easily. Their physical presence is evidence of work done, and a reminder of what there is to do. The grime that builds up from being worked over is poignant and satisfying. We see the history of the presence of our hand. To have the actual drawings in reach allows us to understand the project in a more complete and comprehensive way. In the buildings we design, we struggle to achieve a unity and sense of wholeness that can come from a balance of individual gestures within a larger and more singular container. The focus of a computer screen feels too compartmentalized and tight to see and understand the whole. And if every time a change is made, a new printout is made, there is the problem that the printouts are too clean. They don’t show the scrubbed and messy sections of erasure, so there is no evidence to indicate the history of the development of an idea. Crucial to creating wholeness is the understanding of the development of the idea.
Documentation is an aspect of architecture particularly interesting to me, especially after several of the freshman seminar speakers(namely Nonya, Eva, Prof. Jimenez, Casbo...I want my fresh sem sketchbook back!) presented a lot of preliminary hand-drawn sketches in their lectures. We definitely lose something valuable (and beautiful) when we abandon trace for CAD, although you can't ignore the million advantages to designing on the computer. I don't know what things are going to look like by the time I'm working in a firm, but I fully take to heart what Danny meant when he said not to forget about the pencil.
p.s. what the heck is a bunny bag?
In the United States, the practice of architecture has come to rely on the computer. In offices the word efficiency is always mentioned, and in design schools the capability to create and rotate complex forms in space is lauded. So, with surprising speed, the tools of the hand are becoming extinct.
* clutch pencil, lead and lead pointer
*bunny bag
*pounce
* erasing shield
* lettering template
*soon to disappear
This is a lamentation for lost tools and a quiet manifesto describing our desire for slowness. We write not in opposition to computers- in fact we are in the midst of bringing them into our studio- but rather it is a discussion about the importance of slowness. We write in support of slowness.
“There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting. Consider this utterly commonplace situation: a man is walking down the street. At a certain moment, he tries to recall something, but the recollection escapes him. Automatically, he slows down. Meanwhile, a person who wants to forget a disagreeable incident he has just lived through starts unconsciously to speed up his pace, as if he were trying to distance himself from a thing still too close to him in time.
In existential mathematics, that experience takes the form of two basic equations: the degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting.”
Slowness Milan Kundera
Slowness of method
Our desire to continue to use the tools of the hand, even as we may begin to use the computer, has to do with their connection to our bodies. Buildings are still constructed with hands, and it seems that the hand still knows best what the hand is capable of doing. As our hands move, we have the time to think and to observe our actions. We draw using pencil and ink, on mylar and on vellum. When we make changes, they occur with effort and a fair amount of tedious scrubbing with erasers, erasing shields, and spit. We have to sift back through previous drawings and bring them to agreement. So, decisions are made slowly, after thoughtful investigation, because they are a commitment that has consequence. It is better to be slow.
We like to keep the stack of finished and unfinished drawings nearby so that the whole project can be reviewed easily. Their physical presence is evidence of work done, and a reminder of what there is to do. The grime that builds up from being worked over is poignant and satisfying. We see the history of the presence of our hand. To have the actual drawings in reach allows us to understand the project in a more complete and comprehensive way. In the buildings we design, we struggle to achieve a unity and sense of wholeness that can come from a balance of individual gestures within a larger and more singular container. The focus of a computer screen feels too compartmentalized and tight to see and understand the whole. And if every time a change is made, a new printout is made, there is the problem that the printouts are too clean. They don’t show the scrubbed and messy sections of erasure, so there is no evidence to indicate the history of the development of an idea. Crucial to creating wholeness is the understanding of the development of the idea.
Documentation is an aspect of architecture particularly interesting to me, especially after several of the freshman seminar speakers(namely Nonya, Eva, Prof. Jimenez, Casbo...I want my fresh sem sketchbook back!) presented a lot of preliminary hand-drawn sketches in their lectures. We definitely lose something valuable (and beautiful) when we abandon trace for CAD, although you can't ignore the million advantages to designing on the computer. I don't know what things are going to look like by the time I'm working in a firm, but I fully take to heart what Danny meant when he said not to forget about the pencil.
p.s. what the heck is a bunny bag?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The Spirit of Offense
http://www.solomonsporchhk.com/sermons/100523_Pastor_Samuel_Song_-_Spirit_of_Offense.mp3
Offenses will come inevitably. It's our reaction to offense that matters.
Good, relevant message I got from Jonathan's Google Buzz. PTL.
1. Rejoice in the Lord always
"when we lift Jesus up, the atmosphere changes. we may not change, but the atmosphere changes"
2. Bear and Pray
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
3. Focus on the good
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
4. Practice
Offenses will come inevitably. It's our reaction to offense that matters.
Good, relevant message I got from Jonathan's Google Buzz. PTL.
1. Rejoice in the Lord always
"when we lift Jesus up, the atmosphere changes. we may not change, but the atmosphere changes"
2. Bear and Pray
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
3. Focus on the good
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
4. Practice
Friday, May 21, 2010
Surprise in Texas
Watched this with Umma at the Angelika in Plano today. Amazing.
Watching Nobuyuki Tsujii (blind and doesn't speak English; shared first place with Haochen Zhang who was the youngest competitor and is, needless to say, brilliant as well) plays the Chopin Concerto no. 2...it's impossible not to cry. One of my favs - 2nd place winner Yeol Eum Son. Okay, I'm probably biased because she's Korean, but she has remarkable maturity, self-discipline, and personal warmth that I admire and hope to learn from.
Crossing my fingers that I'll be able to watch one of the competition concerts in Fort Worth someday...maybe the Chopin concerto with my mom?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
what you decide to do when you feel bored will define the rest of your life
huh.
----------------
tudu:
[x] message F
[x] call N
[ ] write M, S, Y
[ ] sj trip messages
[ ] J's shirt
[ ] flores y/o cartas para tres
[x] birthday fototos
[x] reading list
[ ] craigslist job offer and/or cinemark
[x] call uta
[x] download photoshop cs5
[ ] sketch image on canvas
----------------
tudu:
[x] message F
[x] call N
[ ] write M, S, Y
[ ] sj trip messages
[ ] J's shirt
[ ] flores y/o cartas para tres
[x] birthday fototos
[x] reading list
[ ] craigslist job offer and/or cinemark
[x] call uta
[x] download photoshop cs5
[ ] sketch image on canvas
Thursday, May 13, 2010
My Architect: A Son's Journey
The life of the great architect Louis I. Kahn was in one word, as Umma would say, restless. This is a film made by Kahn's illegitimate son about his quest to find out who his father, internationally renown starchitect, hero to Bangladesh, the head of three different families, "ugly, short, and Jewish", ever enigmatic, ever elusive, truly was.
Lou Kahn's work is characterized by an unearthly heaviness and monumentality (explored in Alex Roman's must-see video: The Third & The Seventh, http://vimeo.com/7809605. full screen it!). With the little I know about the design process at this point of my career, I admire the simplicity and integrity of the servant-served concept carried out in his buildings. There is so much to be said about and to be learned from his work and philosophies.
That said, learning about the way he lives his life brings up the whole question of balancing architecture and life for me once again. Lou blatantly prioritized work over all else, his families, his health, people in general...he wouldn't even let people in his firm go home early to see their wives give birth if there was a rapidly approaching deadline.
As beautiful as the legacy he left through his buildings is, there is something terribly tragic about how he left behind little else for the people in his life. In my eyes, Lou was a human being who was always running away from one place to another, having an idea of what he valued but never resolutely committing to anything other than drawing and building and being incredibly hard-headed about his ideas.
I wonder where I will find myself in the next twenty years. If I have trouble balancing studio and life during the next five years, how will I balance work and life in the real world? Is it going to narrow down to either success in architecture or commitment to family/other relationships?
But I try not to worry too much about how tomorrow Hannah Lee will find a way to love God and care for people through work that I love but not treasure as much as the former two. We'll see. In the mean time, I'll concentrate on soaking up as much knowledge as possible. I'm stoked for interning and the watercolor class and for my summer reading list.
For the record, I think the film deserved the Academy Award nomination and would highly recommend it to anyone interested in Louis I. Kahn, or architecture, or life.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
quiddity
"Lewis gave me an intense sense of the "realness" of things. The preciousness of this is hard to communicate. To wake up in the morning and be aware of the firmness of the mattress, the warmth of the sun's rays, the sound of the clock ticking, the sheer being of things ("quiddity" as he calls it). He helped me become alive to life. He helped me see what is there in the world - that, if we don't have, we would pay a million dollars to have, but having them, ignore. He made me more alive to beauty. He put my soul on notice that there are daily wonders that will waken worship if I open my eyes. He shook my dozing soul and threw the cold water of reality in my face, so that life and God and heaven and hell broke into my world with glory and horror."
- John Piper (on C.S. Lewis), Don't Waste Your Life
Reading this immediately reminded me of a thought that crossed my mind gazing at the sky on the way home, sometime in my junior year of high school.
Friday, March 21, 2008:
"Have you ever looked at the sky on a cloudless day? Like really looked at it, gazed at it, in Ms. Clark language, delved into it.
I didn't know the sky could be so blue. After looking at so many painted skies and photographed skies and tinted car window skies and skies interrupted by cables and trees and rooftops, it was mystifying seeing the real thing. I mean, it's such a clear, unblemished, blue blue. It was so strange scanning it and finding not even the subtlest signs of a brush stroke. You could not tell at all where faint blue became intense blue, it just happens before you realize it.
I always imagine how beautiful the perfectly sky sky would look and then I look up one day and it's there. It took me half an hour to realize this was it. It was so unbelievably perfect and yet it really was there...
It's so much like who God has been to me these past weeks. I read Isaiah 53 and imagine how outrageous and colossal and wonderful the story is. I talk about and thank God for the cross and for redemption and for grace. I sing How Great is Our God and hear about His wrath. I know He created all things and nothing, nobody exists without Him breathing life into it.
And then I look at the sky, I gaze at you and I think, oh my gosh this is the truth
...God over hurricanes and stars. God of Israel. God of fate and all these people and DNA and laminin.
...That I could owe so much yet be given so much...It's so intangible yet it's reality"
Thank You for gifted thinkers and writers who can pen ideas that people like me always longed to express but never knew how.
Thank You that I kept this entry even though I felt silly and clumsy writing it at the time.
Thank You for all the time I have until the internship to read all day.
Thank You for realization of this "realness".
Thank You for every breath, every minute, every task, all undeserved.
- John Piper (on C.S. Lewis), Don't Waste Your Life
Reading this immediately reminded me of a thought that crossed my mind gazing at the sky on the way home, sometime in my junior year of high school.
Friday, March 21, 2008:
"Have you ever looked at the sky on a cloudless day? Like really looked at it, gazed at it, in Ms. Clark language, delved into it.
I didn't know the sky could be so blue. After looking at so many painted skies and photographed skies and tinted car window skies and skies interrupted by cables and trees and rooftops, it was mystifying seeing the real thing. I mean, it's such a clear, unblemished, blue blue. It was so strange scanning it and finding not even the subtlest signs of a brush stroke. You could not tell at all where faint blue became intense blue, it just happens before you realize it.
I always imagine how beautiful the perfectly sky sky would look and then I look up one day and it's there. It took me half an hour to realize this was it. It was so unbelievably perfect and yet it really was there...
It's so much like who God has been to me these past weeks. I read Isaiah 53 and imagine how outrageous and colossal and wonderful the story is. I talk about and thank God for the cross and for redemption and for grace. I sing How Great is Our God and hear about His wrath. I know He created all things and nothing, nobody exists without Him breathing life into it.
And then I look at the sky, I gaze at you and I think, oh my gosh this is the truth
...God over hurricanes and stars. God of Israel. God of fate and all these people and DNA and laminin.
...That I could owe so much yet be given so much...It's so intangible yet it's reality"
Thank You for gifted thinkers and writers who can pen ideas that people like me always longed to express but never knew how.
Thank You that I kept this entry even though I felt silly and clumsy writing it at the time.
Thank You for all the time I have until the internship to read all day.
Thank You for realization of this "realness".
Thank You for every breath, every minute, every task, all undeserved.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The Most Important Question
P. James once told me that the single most important question for every human being to ask himself is the one Jesus asks his disciples after he healed the blind guy at Bethsaida.
"Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"
They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."
"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"
If you're familiar with this little story already, you know that Peter says that "You are the Christ." Such a good, profound, holy-sounding answer; such an easy holy-sounding passage to skim.
"Who do you say I am?" In my heart of hearts, I know that Jesus is the Christ. But, after James Hong got me thinking about that question, I sometimes wonder if that is who I truly say that he is through how I live my life. It troubles me often when I question whether my life says he is Christ...or is he just Rule-Establisher, Warm-Fuzzies-Provider, Success-Securer, Guilt-Reliever, Distant-Good-Old-Grandfather, Altruistic-Wise-Mature Teacher, Altrustic-Wise-Mature-Person-Maker, and so on?
I created this blog partly to help me, or at least get me think about this question on a regular basis.
I have many, many interests in this world; there are many, many beautiful discoveries, past, present, future, that I want to include in this blog
...the gracefulness of a melody, the richness of a dish, the elegance of a designed space, the meaningfulness of a heart-to-heart over tea, the message of an image, the colorfulness of relationships, the sublimity of a landscape, the truth within a word, the discipline behind a desire. I aspire to become an architect, an artist, a lover, a mother, a philanthropist, a teacher, a life-long learner, a servant, a listener, an encourager, a peacemaker.
but Everything is Meaningless to me if I fail to answer this Most Important Question, if my answer to "Who do you say I am" becomes lost in the busyness of life and I forget what the whole purpose of life is. If I cannot answer "who do I say he is" right, then I do not know how to answer "who am I?". Because if Jesus is the Christ, then I want all of me to be devoted to all of him.
I want you to know that it scares me slightly to know that making this blog accessibly to y'all means I will be held accountable for everything I say (it's only my first post and I feel like I already have a lot to live up to) and vulnerable to good and bad criticism (is that the word?) and maybe even being judged. As a person who doesn't say much in person, transparency at this level is a litle terrifying.
Buttt I guess that's all part of the plan. It will do me some good.
So with nothing further to say...happy birthday, hanneleh. let's see how this goes.
"Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"
They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."
"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"
If you're familiar with this little story already, you know that Peter says that "You are the Christ." Such a good, profound, holy-sounding answer; such an easy holy-sounding passage to skim.
"Who do you say I am?" In my heart of hearts, I know that Jesus is the Christ. But, after James Hong got me thinking about that question, I sometimes wonder if that is who I truly say that he is through how I live my life. It troubles me often when I question whether my life says he is Christ...or is he just Rule-Establisher, Warm-Fuzzies-Provider, Success-Securer, Guilt-Reliever, Distant-Good-Old-Grandfather, Altruistic-Wise-Mature Teacher, Altrustic-Wise-Mature-Person-Maker, and so on?
I created this blog partly to help me, or at least get me think about this question on a regular basis.
I have many, many interests in this world; there are many, many beautiful discoveries, past, present, future, that I want to include in this blog
...the gracefulness of a melody, the richness of a dish, the elegance of a designed space, the meaningfulness of a heart-to-heart over tea, the message of an image, the colorfulness of relationships, the sublimity of a landscape, the truth within a word, the discipline behind a desire. I aspire to become an architect, an artist, a lover, a mother, a philanthropist, a teacher, a life-long learner, a servant, a listener, an encourager, a peacemaker.
but Everything is Meaningless to me if I fail to answer this Most Important Question, if my answer to "Who do you say I am" becomes lost in the busyness of life and I forget what the whole purpose of life is. If I cannot answer "who do I say he is" right, then I do not know how to answer "who am I?". Because if Jesus is the Christ, then I want all of me to be devoted to all of him.
I want you to know that it scares me slightly to know that making this blog accessibly to y'all means I will be held accountable for everything I say (it's only my first post and I feel like I already have a lot to live up to) and vulnerable to good and bad criticism (is that the word?) and maybe even being judged. As a person who doesn't say much in person, transparency at this level is a litle terrifying.
Buttt I guess that's all part of the plan. It will do me some good.
So with nothing further to say...happy birthday, hanneleh. let's see how this goes.
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