post-charrette resolutions

It has been approximately thirty hours since I officially finished my first real charrette. Twelve hours of sleep, six loads of laundry, three nutritious caffeine-less meals, and a roughly four hundred calorie workout later, I think it's time to reflect a little on my lifestyle these past four months and consider all the improvements to make if I want to live old enough to have a shot at building the Real Cool Stuff (architects are late bloomers. the key to success is...to live long.)

1. Coffee. I can drink coffee...before a lecture class, namely Arch and the City. No more 1 AM Coffeehouse visits. I've come dangerously close to cutting myself with my jittery hands too many times, including during yesterday's final five hours.
2. Breakfast. Always.
3. Energy drinks. Never.
4. Late night munchies...Bring fruit/cherry tomatoes/edamame/bread from dinner. If I'm that hungry, those Nature Valley bars under my desk. No more vending machine snacks. Save the funds for materials.
5. Their Possessions. Stop borrowing people's crap and not returning it. Seriously, they're angsty enough as is. Also, you might want to work with them someday. Also, you're supposed to be salt and light.
6. My Possessions. Label, label, label.

7. Sleep. 1 to 7 everyday. I tried 12 to 6 everyday this past month (did 1 to 8 most days, except for Sunday's critical all-nighter) and it was a success. Umma was right, as (almost) always. Did not get as much work done as I wanted, of course, but the work I would have one during the night would have not been much anyways. And would have looked a whole lot crappier.
Sleep will most likely increase my life span. Sleep is a good de-stresser. Sleep is my friend.

8. Pray. Hard. Good opportunities: During breakfast, after MWF dinner, after TR morning classes.
9. Lunch dates. If I want to have friends outside of studio, I have to be intentional.
10. Moozic. Join in on studio conversations once in a while, instead of always being being plugged into music playing on the laptop. If I'm not sure whether it should be work time or social time, ask God.
11. Gossip. Don't do it. Contribute something else to the conversation. Love always protects...
12. Archi crawls, dinners and other hangouts. Go. I don't drink and I don't like talking crap about people, but it means something to them if I show up.
13. Care. Ask how they're doing. Always say hi if you have the chance.
14. Backup. Update the hard drive every once in two weeks.
15. Three meals at Brown. Except before reviews maybe. Do itttt.
16. Remember other classes. Get your tuition's worth and don't skip. And listen and learn.
17. Believe in yourself. I have no practical suggestions...just keep up time with God.
18. Lectures. Go to all of them. Realize the greater world of architecture.
19. Dress up. And enjoy it. Savoring college experience includes finding and liking my own little style, at least for me. Sweats and a t-shirt are not a style.

20. Be smart about time. Maxium work, minimum time. I made the really bad mistake of focusing too much on my final model and making blatantly unfinished boards, even though I had a lot of good crap that I could have pasted on in, like, one hour. It's slightly comforting that everyone thought the model was awesome, but I still have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach after five yesterday, and that is no good. My prof is probably unhappy. I am definitely unhappy. I hope my grade doesn't suffer...too much. :'(

Review is on Thursday. I guess there is no use pouting about how much I could have done. Mistakes are mistakes. Just don't repeat them next semester and keep up whatever good habits you did get down.

realism

Dear Hannah,

My Dad shared something very interesting during this week because I always thought that relying so heavily on God and not going by sight is highly impractical. The devotional he shared read that some people are optimists who “camp in pleasures and good memories,” denying the brokenness. Others are pessimists who “focus on life’s losses, losing joy and victory in the process.” But people of faith are realists who “receive it all—all the good and bad of life—and repeatedly choose to know that God really loves us and is constantly at work for our good and His glory.”

Amazing isn't it? That even though we walk by faith, and not sight, we see a reality that most people can't even begin to imagine.

t minus 5 days and 15.5 hours

my neighbors treat charrette week like it's not such a big deal and think that archi work is just like any other work for any other major.

another thing I love about these two. please don't tell them I said that.


final stretchhhhhhh

yesterday's soci 101 reading

And this is the answer from Colleen, a single mother of two who is usually direct and vivacious but now looks at some spot straight ahead of her, where perhaps the ancestor who escaped from the Great Potato Famine is staring back at her, as intent as I am on what she will say: "I don't mind, really, because I guess I'm a simple person, and I don't want what they have. I mean, it's nothing to me. But what I would like is to be able to take a day off now and then...if I had to...and still be able to buy groceries the next day."

Barbara Ehrenreich, Nickel and Dimed

all I want

1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

8 Hear my prayer, LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, God of Jacob.
9 Look on our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.

10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

12 LORD Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.


Someone must be (or has been) praying hard for me, because this yearning has been especially strong this week. Or maybe because the blurred line between friendship and relationship has been on my mind lately, and I know in my heart that what truly satisfies me is much more than that.
And there have just been so many things to trust God prayerfully for and every time I find the time to meet Him, it spills out like an ocean. More, more, more

WOOOOOOOT God Answers Prayers!

the And/Or

I watched a certain award-winning film three times in a row within twenty four hours last week while making my 16th inch model. A couple years ago my mom and I sat down to watch this movie, and we couldn't even finish half of it because of all the sexual content. This time, I was surprised at how taken away I was by its craft and its meaningfulness, beyond all of the images of pervertednesss and dysfunction. There is so much beauty in the world...

Beauty.

Sometimes it confuses me when I find mesmerizing beauty in the most secular of things. Yesterday P. Hsueh talked about how God wants us to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. A painting does not necessarily have to have a halo or cherub or representation of Christ for us to enjoy it as God wills. We don't have to limit ourselves to listening to songs with "Jesus" in the lyrics. We can enjoy Beethoven and heavy metal. And we can even treat ourselves to occasionally luxuries, which is what my mom has been encouraging me to do even in tough financial times.

So God made beauty in the world for us to enjoy. I understand that and I want to fully embrace that.
Why is it then that I always feel like beauty and God compete for my love and my life? Why is it that beauty (besides nature maybe) seems to always bring me away from God, instead of bringing me to a deeper adoration of Him? I've always had kind of a problem with this, as I itch to grow artistically as well as spiritually.

And, now that I'm at it, why do I feel like my career and God always compete, when my career should be a part of fearing and loving God? I wish my true heart as an architect-in-training, as reflected in how I spend my time and energy, had as much purity and clarity of purpose as the mission statement I've written for myself in my head. I know why I'm here - I have a general idea anyways. But it's hard to live with such a clear focus and God-glorifying dream day by day, hour by hour.

I'm asking questions I already know the answer to. It's just that I've been struggling to invest in gifts from the Giver without idolizing them. I guess it's yet another thing that shall be added unto me when I seek first the kingdom of God.

ah, the kingdom of God...

one more time with feeling

Highlight of the day:
talking to my mom on Facebook chat.
Also, getting fourteen hours of sleep, catching up with Ting over lunch, spending time alone with God in the chapel.

열심히 해. 똥빠지게.

It was a good day.