"God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."
May I state the obvious?
Fellowship is with His Son.
It attracts attention not to us, but to Him.
Not to our brokenness, but to what He has done.
It does not weigh down, but builds up in and for His Name.
It is when I see Jesus having full rein (reign?) in somebody else, and I say I want that. I want it!
Because fellowship is with Jesus Christ our Lord, fellowship brings life.
Suddenly so many things I spent most of the previous two years confused about have been becoming so clear.
True fellowship...quiet time...relationships...marriage...womanhood...work...trust...
Sweet fellowship with wise and generous saints tonight made much of it concrete. While I know I still have a lot of areas in which I have yet to fully obey, I'm seeing so many anxious desires and fears of losing things or wasting time slipping away. I cannot write all of this on a blog.
God, keep us pure in heart, so that we may see You!
Life is such an adventure!!!
homesick
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
haha Alex Wu was so excited yesterday night to share about all the eye-opening things God has been doing in his life that we went an hour and a half over time, again.
"Mannn, the kingdom of God is so amazing," he exclaimed at one point.
So amazing indeed!! He is good, He is living and active throughout our numbered days!
"Mannn, the kingdom of God is so amazing," he exclaimed at one point.
So amazing indeed!! He is good, He is living and active throughout our numbered days!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
fam ily
booked my flights. happy family email chain.
i have a letter to finish writing, a letter that seems so un-write-able...
but thank You from the bottom of my heart for this moment,
CAD-ing plans next to my huge inner loop window, hair wet from post-jog shower and light sprinkles, nina simone and studio chatter, a stomach full of baby carrots, gratitude for the little things You pack into each hour of my little life.
it's not that i don't have any problems as of late, but once in a while it bothers me how comfortable my life is. but I'm sure You're going to change that real soon as i wait as watchmen wait for the morning, and think of You as i lie on my bed. will be gratefully savoring the spoonfuls of undeserved happiness in the mean time.
i have a letter to finish writing, a letter that seems so un-write-able...
but thank You from the bottom of my heart for this moment,
CAD-ing plans next to my huge inner loop window, hair wet from post-jog shower and light sprinkles, nina simone and studio chatter, a stomach full of baby carrots, gratitude for the little things You pack into each hour of my little life.
it's not that i don't have any problems as of late, but once in a while it bothers me how comfortable my life is. but I'm sure You're going to change that real soon as i wait as watchmen wait for the morning, and think of You as i lie on my bed. will be gratefully savoring the spoonfuls of undeserved happiness in the mean time.
Monday, October 24, 2011
I have decided to follow Jesus, and there is no turning back.
I recently rediscovered this song and have been playing it on repeat in studio. I like how they incorporated the lines from a children's praise song into it.
It's Monday morning, the beginning of another week of fighting to cherish Him above all else, above our fleshly desires, our comfort and safety as we know it, every haunting sin and every good thing.
May this be our prayer as we commit to loving the LORD our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength - I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
RAWR
I'm really annoyed. Just carefully read and annotated 35 pages from the wrong chapter of the wrong book. Still have a couple more hours of reading, in addition to writing the response paper and drawing the human skull from memory before 9AM.
This reminds me about what I realized the time I was 45 minutes late to my own review because Mudd Lab's plotter ran out of paper and did not notify me about it. I too have that shameful tendency to blame other people when I'm pissed, and I like to think that I have the right to want to strangle someone. Even if it is technically partly their fault, when the situation is something that I cannot change, change my heart, O God.
This reminds me about what I realized the time I was 45 minutes late to my own review because Mudd Lab's plotter ran out of paper and did not notify me about it. I too have that shameful tendency to blame other people when I'm pissed, and I like to think that I have the right to want to strangle someone. Even if it is technically partly their fault, when the situation is something that I cannot change, change my heart, O God.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
giving praise to Whom it's due
I have a mountain of things to do this week. But before I get on that...talking to L today made me realize how many prayers have been getting answered from the past semester to this one (the importance of remembering by sharing what He has done...), and I want to take some time to remember a few of the things He has done.
Sisters to run alongside.
Sisters in campus fellowship and different churches, but a sister in studio as well, especially as of late. You have no idea. Jehovah Jireh all the way.
Discernment and fulfillment in God-honoring fellowship with brothers. What a journey, man.
Actually, there is no such thing as fellowship that is not God-honoring, but lately I've been realizing that a lot that I've thought of as fellowship isn't really, because Christ is not truly at the center. A heart-to-heart with a Christian is not always fellowship, and it is not always God-honoring.
True fellowship does not suck the life out of me (although some aspects of it really are a battle). True fellowship gives life, because it is all about Himmmmmm.
Brothers and sisters and God's provision in general for those I had a heart for but was simply incapable of holding onto. Especially L. It is amazing to see how much God carefully considers and answers even prayers that we forgot we prayed about a long time ago.
Knowing the Holy Spirit, slowly but surely, as long as I draw near to Him.
Rooming situation. His perfect, perfect plan. For me and for L and K.
The right attitude towards architecture - the present and the future.
The answer is Colossians 3. I knew it in my head, but only after B shared that did I realize that that's all I need to know. I've wasted so much time, but He is faithful. May He do what is best in His sight wit the rest of my college career.
The right attitude towards CCF. Letting go of it, embracing it. In progress.
Sharing the good news. In progress, but I mean, happening for sure.
Giving Him the firstfruits of the day.
"See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Revelations of these offensive ways in me, as I chain and bind myself with many many layers of duct tape onto the altar braced for some real scary pain (inspiration from Z). Some things: relationship with parents (more like parent), relationship with friends, delayed gratification, household duties, being too highly thought of, trying to keep up the being too highly thought of, FOOD AND SLEEP, lust and greed. It might be a matter of days (hours?) before I really, really, REALLY regret writing this down and telling other people.
He must INCREASE, I must DECREASE.
>_<
I refuse to live a life of confusion (no more Amaziah-ing!) any longer, even if letting God pry my fingers off is excruciatingly painful and foolish in the eyes of the world.
Sisters to run alongside.
Sisters in campus fellowship and different churches, but a sister in studio as well, especially as of late. You have no idea. Jehovah Jireh all the way.
Discernment and fulfillment in God-honoring fellowship with brothers. What a journey, man.
Actually, there is no such thing as fellowship that is not God-honoring, but lately I've been realizing that a lot that I've thought of as fellowship isn't really, because Christ is not truly at the center. A heart-to-heart with a Christian is not always fellowship, and it is not always God-honoring.
True fellowship does not suck the life out of me (although some aspects of it really are a battle). True fellowship gives life, because it is all about Himmmmmm.
Brothers and sisters and God's provision in general for those I had a heart for but was simply incapable of holding onto. Especially L. It is amazing to see how much God carefully considers and answers even prayers that we forgot we prayed about a long time ago.
Knowing the Holy Spirit, slowly but surely, as long as I draw near to Him.
Rooming situation. His perfect, perfect plan. For me and for L and K.
The right attitude towards architecture - the present and the future.
The answer is Colossians 3. I knew it in my head, but only after B shared that did I realize that that's all I need to know. I've wasted so much time, but He is faithful. May He do what is best in His sight wit the rest of my college career.
The right attitude towards CCF. Letting go of it, embracing it. In progress.
Sharing the good news. In progress, but I mean, happening for sure.
Giving Him the firstfruits of the day.
"See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Revelations of these offensive ways in me, as I chain and bind myself with many many layers of duct tape onto the altar braced for some real scary pain (inspiration from Z). Some things: relationship with parents (more like parent), relationship with friends, delayed gratification, household duties, being too highly thought of, trying to keep up the being too highly thought of, FOOD AND SLEEP, lust and greed. It might be a matter of days (hours?) before I really, really, REALLY regret writing this down and telling other people.
He must INCREASE, I must DECREASE.
>_<
I refuse to live a life of confusion (no more Amaziah-ing!) any longer, even if letting God pry my fingers off is excruciatingly painful and foolish in the eyes of the world.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
to trust is to work.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23,24
a thank you to b for reminding me to practice this.
to work hard, regardless of whether or not I know what exactly I'm working towards, is in itself His will.
Colossians 3:23,24
a thank you to b for reminding me to practice this.
to work hard, regardless of whether or not I know what exactly I'm working towards, is in itself His will.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Amaziah did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, but not as his father David had done.
But a man of God came to him and said, “O king, these troops from Israel must not march with you, for the LORD is not with Israel—not with any of the people of Ephraim. Even if you go and fight courageously in battle, God will overthrow you before the enemy, for God has the power to help or to overthrow.”
Amaziah asked the man of God, “But what about the hundred talents I paid for these Israelite troops?”
The man of God replied, “The LORD can give you much more than that.”
Amaziah was a good guy who nobly trusted God with some really big things, but couldn't finish through. How many times do I have to learn this?
Fighting courageously don't matter if I haven't trusted Him fully.
I must trust Him all the way.
Amaziah asked the man of God, “But what about the hundred talents I paid for these Israelite troops?”
The man of God replied, “The LORD can give you much more than that.”
Amaziah was a good guy who nobly trusted God with some really big things, but couldn't finish through. How many times do I have to learn this?
Fighting courageously don't matter if I haven't trusted Him fully.
I must trust Him all the way.
Monday, October 10, 2011
ratatouille
Ratatouille:
Looks wonderful, tastes wonderful, but probably only worth the time when the work and meal is shared.
On another note, the lighting in the above screenshot is so gorgeous. I wish I knew how to create that kind of lighting on Rhino.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
speaking of grades and working with my hands
oh my goodness. such a fail week.................not Asian fail, just fail. when and how did I stop being an exceptional student and start being so all over the place? in need and in expectation of some serious divine strength in the form of granted repentance, mercy, and clarity of purpose.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
¿Sabes lo que pasa?
I'm finally dropping SPAN 301 after my dad talked to me about GPA matters on Sunday night.
My dad never talks to me about grades (he has probably never seen my college transcript), and I don't remember the last time he ever gave me academic advise in such an inoffensive, even gentle (?) manner. God, I take this as a Sí, déjalo.
Pues, adios, mis clases en español (para siempre). Here is a farewell song for you.
A nice excuse to post Rachael Yamagata's live version of this song. ^_^V
Now, time to make the most out of my remaining fifteen credits!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
D'où Venons Nous Que Sommes Nous Où Allons Nous
Art, you heart-breaker, you dangler of grapes.
How could something so agonizingy beautiful be so unbearably empty?
"Keep falsehood and lies far from me...give me only my daily bread."
Jesus is my all in all. He is far fairer, He is far purer.
Until he shows me if/how art can glorify Him in light of the gospel, I give up looking for it.
How could something so agonizingy beautiful be so unbearably empty?
"Keep falsehood and lies far from me...give me only my daily bread."
Jesus is my all in all. He is far fairer, He is far purer.
Until he shows me if/how art can glorify Him in light of the gospel, I give up looking for it.
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