Wednesday, May 25, 2011

"Love means that there are no visible habits— that your habits are so immersed in the Lord that you practice them without realizing it."

Monday, May 23, 2011

status quo

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/23/world/asia/23southkorea.html?_r=2&hp

This is really sad. :(
It seems like the young people in this country are expected to grow up too fast. It reminds me of Lynbrook, but on a bigger scale.
Maybe I'm slightly biased, but in any case it's a generation "dying for love, crying for truth, aching for You". Don't let me forget there's a reason why I'm here.


The other day on my way home, a fifty-something man got on the subway and started to walk around and loudly share the gospel. Everyone pretended like he didn't exist, the same way Korean passengers always ignore the people shoulder-to-shoulder to them on the subway. It shook me from my mental slumber. Not only to hear the gospel in another language, my parents' native language, but to hear the gospel, period, spoken aloud in a most mundane, unresponsive setting.

There's a Chinese middle-aged woman who walks around campus to invite random Chinese students to Bible study. She asked me around fifteen times, no joke, if I were Chinese, and I tell her every time that I'm Korean. Some of the archis were making fun of her, and I didn't do much at all to defend her. Partly because I couldn't respond fast enough (which is often the case when I'm around people I'm not super close with...it really bugs me sometimes), but it was also because I wanted to keep a distance from the crowd that shouts the gospel in people's faces most unlovingly, kind that completely turns off several specific people in studio, if not everyone who isn't Christian in the room.

While I'm cringing or brushing it off though, I forget that Paul said that it doesn't matter, "the important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached" and he rejoiced.
This is why it should offend me when someone who knows I'm Christian invites me to a "post-rapture looting" event on Facebook. This is why it should hurt when people, sometimes even Christians "learning a lesson" from others' downfalls, put down Rick Warren, Harold Camping, the Chinese Bible study lady, and the ajusshi in the subway. I have no idea whether they truly understand His love and are truly saved, or whether they share the gospel out of love for others or out of love for an idea. Even if I'm pretty sure I have a good idea, it doesn't make a huge difference when it comes to being a part of the body. If the whole body suffers when one part suffers, the whole rejoices when one rejoices, it should probably hurt more than humor me.
People sometimes say they "really see Jesus in me" because I'm a "genuinely nice person" or because I'm really involved in "Chinese Christian Fellowship". Sometimes a part of me wants to and does believe it.

The first entry I wrote on this blog was about Jesus' question to the disciples, "But who do You say I am?"

My answer comes out all clumsy. Where is the Shekinah in my life. What is it now that I'm clinging onto that's blocking its surge, while I cry Lord, Lord.


This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life.

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

like one more mouth to feed



You act like you don't need nobody else
And you dance like you don't need nobody else
And all the other moths need light
To circle round while you just fly
Around yourself.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

tumblr!

Constructing a tumblr for my eighty-nine days in Seoul. The trendiness just seems to better suit a blog with lotsa pictures and hasty writing than blogspot does. Also, I don't plan on sharing everything on a rose in my backpack pocket with everyone on Facebook anytime soon. o_O

Monday, May 9, 2011

post script...

Some really striking and rebuking words I found in my diary from sophomore year of high school:


"Remember, sinner, it is not your hold of Christ that saves you, it is Christ."
C.H. Spurgeon


"We are to order our lives by the light of His law, not our guesses about His plan."
J. I. Packer


"A Christian who is careless in Bible reading is careless in Christian living."