The Most Important Question

P. James once told me that the single most important question for every human being to ask himself is the one Jesus asks his disciples after he healed the blind guy at Bethsaida.

"Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"
They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."
"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"

If you're familiar with this little story already, you know that Peter says that "You are the Christ." Such a good, profound, holy-sounding answer; such an easy holy-sounding passage to skim.

"Who do you say I am?" In my heart of hearts, I know that Jesus is the Christ. But, after James Hong got me thinking about that question, I sometimes wonder if that is who I truly say that he is through how I live my life. It troubles me often when I question whether my life says he is Christ...or is he just Rule-Establisher, Warm-Fuzzies-Provider, Success-Securer, Guilt-Reliever, Distant-Good-Old-Grandfather, Altruistic-Wise-Mature Teacher, Altrustic-Wise-Mature-Person-Maker, and so on?

I created this blog partly to help me, or at least get me think about this question on a regular basis.

I have many, many interests in this world; there are many, many beautiful discoveries, past, present, future, that I want to include in this blog
...the gracefulness of a melody, the richness of a dish, the elegance of a designed space, the meaningfulness of a heart-to-heart over tea, the message of an image, the colorfulness of relationships, the sublimity of a landscape, the truth within a word, the discipline behind a desire. I aspire to become an architect, an artist, a lover, a mother, a philanthropist, a teacher, a life-long learner, a servant, a listener, an encourager, a peacemaker.

but Everything is Meaningless to me if I fail to answer this Most Important Question, if my answer to "Who do you say I am" becomes lost in the busyness of life and I forget what the whole purpose of life is. If I cannot answer "who do I say he is" right, then I do not know how to answer "who am I?". Because if Jesus is the Christ, then I want all of me to be devoted to all of him.

I want you to know that it scares me slightly to know that making this blog accessibly to y'all means I will be held accountable for everything I say (it's only my first post and I feel like I already have a lot to live up to) and vulnerable to good and bad criticism (is that the word?) and maybe even being judged. As a person who doesn't say much in person, transparency at this level is a litle terrifying.

Buttt I guess that's all part of the plan. It will do me some good.

So with nothing further to say...happy birthday, hanneleh. let's see how this goes.