How easy it is to talk about everything except what is really behind all the aching breaking forming lingering fizzing blossoming stirring in the soul.
(Umma noted today that I barely shed a tear during sad movies, but I always cry during the most random times - like at dinner today - while talking to her.
I have a tendency, probably really frustrating to the few people who genuinely try to chart my deepest darkest parts, to not fully acknowledge or attempt to respond to the things that really pain or anger or offend me until I start telling someone about it. I don't know how it starts, but I can be so evasive in a sort of remarkable passive perseverance. I just want for this unusual form of laziness to be rid of, trade it in for the true inner peace that comes from surrender of all these things again and again to God.
Oh boy, I think I just clumped together the beginnings of several different unfinished thoughts, and I have spent way longer than I wanted to on this entry.
All I wanted was to post this song and I ended up doing what I did not want to do - blog about me.)
Anyways, thank you Jon Foreman for making lyrics that confront me in a way I could never do so to myself, and lyrics that remind me of my humanness, how much I need connection, and how much I need the hope that is Jesus
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