frustration is really tiring.

I was about to go to bed a very, very angry person. But then I remembered this verse:
"Tremble and do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent."

Okay. Fine.

Sometimes I just get so tired of being good (I hate this sentence because some part of me ridicules the fact that I think I'm being good)
I don't know why, but I always end up feeling trampled and ridiculed.
I often end up feeling guilty about things that I have no reason to feel guilty about,
and not at all focused on the things I have to repent and be graciously forgiven for.

It's during these moments that I marvel at how wretched I am. And what a humongous claim Jesus sure did make when he said that whoever drinks of him will never be thirsty again.

Please, no critical comments. Please nothing about legalism and condemnation. I don't think I can take it. Unless it's pure Scripture. I would give anything to just be able to speak my mind without being stopped constantly to be corrected of my incorrect thoughts and feelings (oh, grammar too).

This thunder scares me.

God, You are the God of Job 40. You are so beyond me. I am so fragile in this madly spinning universe on the tip of your index finger. God, please know me fully.