In 9 hours, I'll be in Cali. In 19, Seoul.

Nervous about everything.........what to say, what to wear, how to use money, getting around places, meeting the extended family, sharing a tiny living space with the immediate family...working...safety...stress...making the most out of time...finding a community...reaching out...maturing while not being hardened/discouraged by whatever I come across.

This trip really comes at the perfect time though. I am incredibly fortunate - I easily forget that and get all self-centered in my worrying and daydreaming and general unproductivity.

Also, song from a cool album that will keep me company until I leave the house at four a.m.



Peace, lovers,

H

Abandonment is not for anything at all. We have got so commercialized that we only go to God for something from Him, and not for Himself. It is like saying, "No, Lord, I don't want Thee, I want myself; but I want myself clean and filled with the Holy Ghost; I want to be put in Thy show room and be able to say - 'This is what God has done for me.'" If we only give up something to God because we want more back, there is nothing of the Holy Spirit in our abandonment; it is miserable commercial self-interest. That we gain heaven, that we are delivered from sin, that we are made useful to God - these things never enter as considerations into real abandonment, which is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.

Utmost, March 12th

what a thought. and it's something we knew all along.

L: How do you know she is the one you are going to marry?
D: I don't. But I want to take care of her in a way that her future husband will thank me for.


Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

This semester, more than ever, I've wavered between feeling refreshed and feeling exhausted by friendship, if that's the word for it. And while I'm honestly not that excited about going home, I'm glad in a way that there's a date set for everyone to go their separate ways, at least just for now.

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edit: yeah, this is one of those entries that are probably not as depressing as they sound...but were still worth writing down.

He's All You Need