what if I like how the blueness of a sky breaks my heart
what if I want to linger in the moment of gazing at waves drawn in pencil, the longing for / of an unnamed place at coordinates far, far away

but... sometimes... I'm walking down the street and a shaft of light falls a certain way across the pavement and I just wanna cry. And then a second later it's over.

I Remember Well

to live is Christ

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will not be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Paul, Phil 1:18b-21

Two more months

Just two more months.

Baby steps.

Today, I

• woke up at 6:44am, 8:07am, 9:1?am
• showed up late and soaked to Roman concrete class because the ILB is not the MTA
• ate two Larabars
• chose external hearing aids
• was flagged down in the women's restroom by the lady who forgot to give me my medical record but decided to pee instead of running after me
• was flagged down in the parking lot by the sternest man in a pink shirt I have ever met who said he was about to have my car towed didn't I see the reserved parking sign on the awning five feet above me
• let Taylor Swift finish on the driveway
• emailed figure drawing professor to tell him that it turns out I can't take the course a second time for credit
• ran into said professor two hours later on the way to Anderson (it took us a good three seconds after walking past each other to recognize who the other was)
• kakao-ed with my parents about my mom's stomach, my dad's melting teeth, and that time I was six months old sitting on the sofa between them and I fell and is this why my ears are messed up or was it the car accident in my mom's final trimester
• wrote a blog post because sometimes writing heals even when you're writing about nothing really

That is all. Here's a song.