Matt 11:28-30 has been coming up a lot.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


It's great to find songs that are straight-up Scripture set to a melody. Makes it easy to remember.

in-to-me-see

"You are too hard on yourself."

There are two specific people in my life who have said this to me. The first told me during my senior year of high school, during a time when it felt like everything was caving in. The other, yesterday, during a comparably difficult night.

I realize the two share a number of very special qualities. From the start, I could tell that both of them had an incredible freedom in Christ, a deeply rooted intimacy with the King, and a genuine compassion for every soul whose path they crossed. And in their youth, although they had their share of flaws, they seemed to come closest to a complete oneness with Him among almost everyone I knew. These are all things that I had always admired, yearned for, sometimes even coveted.
They shared a lot of the same special struggles, now that I think about it, as well - particularly homesickness on earth, the definition of love, a severe stripping down of the ability to minister to others.

They knew how to sense turmoil and took the initiative to bring those walls down and encourage me and just be there - this is a rare thing.

And what they said to me is something that really baffles me but that deep down I know is true. I know them well enough to know that these words weren't a cheap albeit good-intentioned attempt to cheer me up. I don't know whether to call it encouragement, comfort, exhortation, rebuke, or all four, but it was true.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. Staring point-blank at this part of my life seems fruitless and makes it harder for me to be objective about it. I only end up with eyes that burn and water.
All I know to do is to kneel and pray and return to the foot of the cross once more. Maybe that is all I need to and can do. This seems to be the truth in every circumstance of life. Maybe in fact trying to do something about it, at least at the moment, will only make things worse.

Love is perfect. Love does not deceive. Love rejoices with the truth. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love never fails. His love endures forever.



I guess this is just a long-winded way of saying that He's calling me back to my first love, telling me let go of how tightly I cling to what I lack and what I want in my walk with Him, letting Him pursue me with His love, whatever that means...
oh God, I want so much and know so little.



I'm in love with You
For You have called me child

He loves the significant and the insignificant alike.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
Matt 5:1-5

Even after wrestling so long and hard with insignificance and true significance, I forget. Or rather, I remember less.
It's the small things that reveal I have yet to fully have His heart for the people who others don't think are worth their time.


Dear reader, significant or insignificant among men,
know that you are precious in His sight.

the rundown

noms: Green & Black 85% cacao organic dark chocolate
ponderings: Conor Oberst; the body language of feet
people: K, J, M back in San Jo
heart-warmer: flowers from E
struggles: being quicker to lay down blessings at the feet of the One who gave them to me, particularly blessings in social life. pride.
caution: said blessings trumping time with God, obedience to (and appreciation for) parents
something cool: the really cool analogy the guy leading 1 Kings Bible study today (need to learn his name...) made between the stones of the Temple (1 Kings 6:7. prefab, baby!)and the body (1 Peter 2:5) Wish I had more time to expound upon this.
want: I wish I better understood the architectural significance of the Tabernacle and the Temple. The Pentateuch has some parts that are hard to get through, but all the detail God wanted in the construction of His dwelling place and the craftsmanship of everything in it is really quite amazing if you think about it.
to do: EVERYTHING...I'm going to sleep before I can start panicking.

I feel it all

Going to a school where everyone is two or three degrees of separation apart makes life pretty 재미있어. :)

So, maybe I will struggle with knowing if/how what I'm studying fits in with His will until I graduate, or even after years of working.
In any case, I'm really grateful that I'm here.